I knew from the start that if I make this decision, it will hurt me in the end. Still, I'm stubborn enough to do it. And now I'm at my breaking point and I don't know what to do now. I hate letting myself be in this way because I feel that i'm weak mentally . I'm always putting a fake smile whenever I'm out. But when I'm alone at times, I'll start to have any kind of thoughts running through my mind. I just hate it. Even when I'm trying to pull myself away from this,it will still hang on to me. I hate to think. I hate to know that I only got one choice to make in the end. I hate when it comes to falling apart. I'm glad that I have a day off. I need to be in a peaceful place with drinks and ciggs. And maybe just a friend to be with me in case I break down. Sentosa will be an ideal place.
Leona Lewis song makes me calm

Good day.

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